..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
