we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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