yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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