Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
