i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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