he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
if only i could text you this smell
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
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