I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
