Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
