trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
