Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
