Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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