I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
