White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
