if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
The best revenge is premature balding
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
