Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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