you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Sorry about my life...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
