is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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