and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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