so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize