Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
