At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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