Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
