who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
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