Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
