If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
