from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
