i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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