We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
