Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
