Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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