I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize