it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
