You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize