k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Randomize
