does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize