I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
