i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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