Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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