; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
