Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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