What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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