While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
smell my finger.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
