i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
