So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
