This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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