hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
