me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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