Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
