quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
