i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
