and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
My balls are so social today.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize