Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
