actually, I'm a sock model
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
