Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
