If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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