Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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