i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
