An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
