ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
