Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize