i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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